In Relationships/ Lifestyle

7 Tips to Dating Successfully & Meeting Mr. Right Over 40

Hello beautiful ones! I pray that you’re doing exceedingly well.

I never thought I’d be dating and looking for love at 40 years young, much less 48. My marriage was supposed to withstand the storms of life and anything else that was thrown at it. But, that didn’t happen. In 2009 the beginning of the end of my storybook marriage began and by 2014 I was forced into the world of dating.

Needless to say, I was terrified of the dating scene because everything I had heard was nothing but gloom & doom from other women, especially those over 40. I’m so glad that I didn’t hang onto the horrible things they shared with me and chose to figure things out on my own. As a result, I met several wonderful men, had some fun times, and eventually met the man that I’m currently dating. Yep, my dating experience was great: traditionally and via online dating sites. In fact, I met my sweetie on Plenty of Fish, an online dating site.

Here’s what I know for sure: dating over 40, or even 50, doesn’t have to be hard; we make dating harder than it has to be. Below are 7 tips that helped me to enjoy dating over 40 and meet my Mr. Right For Me:


Stay true to yourself, your needs & your wants. Both in person & and in the writing of my online profile I made sure to be concise, straightforward, and absolute about what was acceptable and not acceptable to me. I didn’t minimize what was important to me to be more ‘palatable’ or attractive to someone that would not honor and respect these requirements. In fact, I believe that this helped to weed out those men who were not a good fit because they realized I wasn’t a push over.

I’m not saying that you should date someone who doesn’t meet some of the requirements only your list. I’m saying stick to your guns about those things that would cause you to compromise who you are at your core – your non-negotiables – or would cause you to lose respect for yourself & him at some point in the relationship. For example, my faith is very important to me and it was necessary for me to meet someone who shared the same beliefs; hence, this was not negotiable. However, if I had met someone who shared my beliefs and met my other non-negotiables I would have gladly dated him if other not so important areas were not up to par.

  1. Take everything you hear from others about dating with a grain of salt & form your own opinions based on your own experiences. Dating at any age can be quite frustrating if you take everything you hear, good or bad, about it at face value. Everyone’s experience is going to be different because we all bring different things to the table, have different needs & wants, and different personalities. What works for one person may not work for you and vice versa Yes, there are some looney birds out there and some men who are up to no good. However, that can be said of some women who are dating as well.
  2. Have a positive mindset. It’s easy to think that there aren’t any good men available when you look at statistics and listen to the gloom & doom from other women who have not been successful at meeting Mr. Right or are still harboring unforgiveness, anger, animosity, etc. from past relationships. The moment you retrain your brain to think positive thoughts about the availability of good men you will start attracting good men to you. The thoughts and words you put into the universe are what you will receive!
  3. Listen to and follow your instinct! If your mind is telling you to run…run as fast as you can. If your mind is telling you to give this person a chance based on VALID, SUBSTANTIAL information that you’ve acquired over quality time in their presence it may be a good idea to give them a little more time to see if you all can get on the same page. I’m not saying put up with anything disrespectful, hurtful, violent, or anything of this nature. I’m saying keep in mind that men hold on to hurt much longer than women and their egos are much more fragile. He may be a great man and simply needs a little more time to let go of the fear of being hurt again. Love, compassion, empathy, and patience can and does make a world a difference!
  4. When a person shows you who they are believe them! As women, we tend to make excuses for bad behavior of people we love and or want to love because of the fear of being alone and our nurturing instincts. However, unless you’re looking for a project, a hobby, or a child to raise, don’t do this with any man you’re dating. The moment you excuse their behavior you set a precedent. The more you excuse the behavior you become consistent and therefore you set the expectation with them. Hence, the only person you have to blame when the fall out eventually happens is you.
  5. Live your life to the fullest! Stay active, travel, go out with your girlfriends, enjoy family time & gatherings, and focus on doing those things that make you happy! Men are attracted to women who are living life no matter who is in their life or not. They want a woman who knows how to laugh at herself and not take herself too seriously. They want a woman with a sense of adventure, a sense of humor, a bit of silly at times. In other words, they want a woman who knows what it means to actively, truly live!
  6. Don’t let your past wreck your present and dim your future! We are supposed to learn from our past relationship mistakes, but we also need to understand that the relationship is HISTORY. As I stated in Tip # 3, what you think will manifest itself. Don’t take any negative energy, thoughts, actions, or anything else from your past into your present dating activities or you’ll surely end up wrecking your present while simultaneously dimming what could have been a rewarding, positive future.

I truly hope these tips are helpful and I wish you all the best in your pursuit of love! You deserve it sisterfriend!!!

Related Post

  • Looks like I’m 3 months late to this party but thanks for the tips -still valid!

  • Brittany Marie

    These tips are wonderful! I’m sure it can be intimidating to be back in the dating world in your forties! You do a great job of guiding these women through this! Thank you!

    • Thank you doll. Dating is so different from what I hear from women of all ages. It’s so sad that there are so many games being played and people don’t feel that they can be their authentic self.

      Second, I apologize for the late response. I obviously missed a few comments.

  • sandra

    I agree with your tips. The ones that definitely resonate the most are having a positive outlook and trust your gut!

    • Yes! If you put positive into the universe that’s what you’ll get back. That 6th sense is God letting us know when things aren’t right. Too often we think we know better than Him.

  • LC @ A Life of Authenticity

    These are great tips. So glad you have found success with on line dating. I’ll need to give it another try. It can be challenging but it is worth the try if we want to be in a relationship. Thanks for sharing.

    • I truly hope that you will. Nothing worth having is easy, but if we go in with the right tools it sure does make things much easier. Hope you’ll come back and share your success soon :)

  • Suite CityWoman

    Good dating tips here for any age. My fave is #5. Live your life to the fullest! I’m doing just that!

    • Amen! Life is too short no matter how long we live. Like you, I’m doing my best to live every day as if it could be my last!

  • Elena Stevkovska

    These tips are very useful, and as a matter of fact I know someone who can use them. I am sharing the post with them.

    • I’m so glad you found them useful and I pray that your friend does as well. Dating can truly be fun!

  • Althought I’ve not been in the dating world for a long time I certainly hear crazy stories. I will say my BFF has has positive experiences also on POF and that keeps me from being jaded. I always share her eperiences with people so they know it isnt all bad. With anything you will get out what you put in.

    • So true but oftentimes we have to do some detoxing to get better results. I’m happy to know your BFF has had success with online dating…it get’s a bad wrap sometimes lol.

  • Nicki Tustin

    I love these tips, they don’t just apply to dating but to life in general

  • Kemkem

    Totally agree with trusting your instincts. I often find them to be true. Trust your dog’s instinct as well. Could have saved myself some heartache :-). I got married at 42 so l get this :-).

    • Yed, I’ve heard pets are also good judges of people; small children are as well.

      Congrats on your marriage ??

  • Hannah D

    great advice, trust your instincts, they usually aren’t wrong, especially when it comes to seeing the real them and being yourself

    Hannah @ The Northern Writes |

    • Exactly! It’s so hard to listen when you want what you want sometimes but getting burmed enough times usually will make us start listening!

      Thanks for stopping by & sharing ?

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